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Fear Cloaked In Courage by sticknsnitches
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Fear Cloaked In Courage

sticknsnitches

Author's Note:

Sorry for the `cliffhanger', Harry getting knocked in the head with a Bludger is canon, didn't think it would be a surprise. :) Also, Harry getting hurt equals excellent opportunity for Hermione to be worried. I couldn't pass that up. I hope you'll be pleased with the outcome.

Author's note part 2 to follow the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I am merely borrowing them.

Since first year she had endured Quidditch matches for Harry's sake. She had grown to understand the game, had even grown to appreciate it, but if Harry hadn't been playing she wouldn't be going. She knew this game was going to be a challenge for the Gryffindor team. Ron was out, Ginny had moved to play a position she didn't have a lot of experience in and they had another back up to deal with. The best chance for a win would be Harry catching the snitch as quickly as possible.

She had stopped by to visit with Ron and then headed down to the pitch. She sat next to Neville and wrapped her jumper tight around her to warn off the wind blowing through the stands.

When the match began she was surprised to hear Luna Lovegood doing the commentating. She had never took Luna as a Quidditch buff but she seemed to be doing an admirable, if not distracted, job at announcing the game.

The game began a bit choppily for the Gryffindor's. Ginny was a decent Keeper, but even Hermione could tell Ron was much better. Harry seemed distracted, she didn't notice him flying around with the same intensity he normally did. The Chasers were doing well but the Beaters seemed off.

Hufflepuff had taken the lead but the game hadn't gotten away from the Gryffindor's yet. She saw Harry fly up high and then heard Luna say something about the Gryffindor Beaters fighting amongst themselves. She scanned the pitch and saw Coote and Peakes completely ignoring the game, involved in what seemed to be an intense argument. Harry must have spotted them as well because the next thing she knew he was laying flat against his broom, hurtling towards them. She felt her heart leap into her throat like it always did when Harry flew like this.

Just before Harry reached his Beaters she saw the Bludger heading for them, Peakes had seen it as well and swung his bat, not even bothering to see where it was headed.

In the space of a heartbeat she knew what was going to happen and there was nothing she could do. She had to watch as the Bludger struck Harry in the head.

"Harry!" she screamed, so loudly that her throat hurt. He was knocked clean off his broom and began to fall. Her heart seized and spots danced before her eyes. She screamed again as he fell. Coote and Peakes realized what had happened and managed to swoop down and catch Harry between them.

Her legs lost all feeling and if Neville hadn't caught her she was sure she would have collapsed. She watched, unable to move as the Beaters carefully lowered Harry to the ground.

Then, like a shot she was moving. Tears blurred her eyes and made it hard to see but she just kept moving. She shoved through other students, not even realizing she was saying "Move, get out of the way!" over and over again. When she reached the stairs she flew down them and then raced across the pitch where Madame Hooch and the rest of the Gryffindor team had gathered around him.

She pushed her way through and fell to her knees next to him. Once again she was sure she would pass out. Her heart was pounding in her ears and she couldn't see or hear anything around her. The Bludger had been so close when it hit it had tore a gash across his right temple. His glasses were gone and the scar stood out vividly against his pale skin. Blood trailed down his face. She clamped down on the gorge that threatened to rise and took a deep breath through her nose.

With a snap her senses came back to her. She ran her hands through his hair to get a better look at the injury, not noticing when they became slick with blood. Head wounds bled profusely, she remembered reading somewhere. As if at the end of a long tunnel she heard Madame Hooch yell for someone to fetch Madame Pomfrey.

A hand on her arm jolted her back and she realized it was Professor McGonagall. "Miss Granger, please get back so that we may transport Mister Potter to the hospital wing."

"No!" she shouted, surprising everyone, especially herself. "He's had a head injury. No one's moving him until Madame Pomfrey gets here." and with that her attention was back on Harry. She needed something to stop the bleeding.

She turned her head and saw Peakes to her left, the wind blew his Quidditch robe in her direction and without a thought she grabbed it and gave a vicious yank, tearing off a good size piece of fabric.

Hermione folded up her makeshift bandage and pressed it tightly to Harry's wound. She used her other hand to help stabilize his head along his jawline. Her thumb traced over his cheek softly while she bent over his prone form.

Now that she had done everything she could the fear hit her again and she began to shake. Her hair fell around them and for a moment it was just Harry and her. "Please don't leave me." she said in a halting whisper, tears dripping off the end of her nose to land on his face. "Please, Harry. I care about you so much...I think...I think I might lo..." but she was cut off by a gentle tug on her shoulder.

She looked up to see Madame Pomfrey standing over her, wand out, performing a diagnostic spell. A moment later a blue light came from her wand and enveloped Harry. "Immobilization charm. You were right not to move him Miss Granger, he has damage to his vertebrae as well as a fractured skull. Moving him could have exacerbated the injury."

Hermione sat back on her heels, bloodied Quidditch robe in her hand and watched as Harry was loaded onto a stretcher. Ginny was suddenly beside her, hand under her elbow pulling her up to follow.

They didn't speak all the way back to the castle. By the time they arrived her tears were gone and she didn't know if she was feeling anything.

Harry was put into the bed next to Ron who was asleep when they entered but woke up at the noise. "Whazzit?" he mumbled before realizing who his new neighbor was. "Harry?! What happened?" he exclaimed, looking worried "Did we win?"

Ginny crossed to her brother and smacked him upside the head. "Harry got hit in the head with a Bludger, you git!"

Hermione stood a few feet from the end of Harry's bed, arms wrapped around her middle, just watching. If anyone attempted to speak to her, she didn't hear them.

She waited silently as Madame Pomfrey cleaned up Harry's wound, healed his fracture and neck and wrapped a thick white bandage around his head.

On her way out, the healer touched Hermione on the shoulder "He'll be right as rain in a days time Miss Granger, no permanent damage done."

She nodded her head once and then turned on her heel and left. She vaguely heard Ron's voice follow her down the hall, and Madame Pomfrey's commands for him to get back in bed.

At first she didn't know where she was going or why. Her feet were taking her somewhere though and soon she found herself at `their' tree by the lake. She sank limp against its strong trunk and just stared.

********************************************************

When Harry came to he could tell by the light outside the window it was late afternoon. Blinking blurry eyes, the hospital wing slowly came into focus and he saw Ron looking at him expectantly.

"Hey, mate, welcome back." Ron said.

Harry's head felt heavy and when he reached up he found a thick bandage. "What happened?" he asked right before the memory of Peakes mishit Bludger came to him

"Bludger to the head."

His head didn't fell that bad, just a bit foggy, but he had a nagging feeling that he was missing something.

Madame Pomfrey bustled in and saw that her patient was awake. "I'm going to name a bed after you Potter."

"When can I go?" he asked

"You've had a cracked skull." she said, as if this alone was an answer to his question. "You were lucky Miss Granger had the good sense to keep you still until I got there or things could have been much worse."

"Hermione!" he exclaimed, realizing with a start what that nagging feeling had been about. "Where is she?"

Ron didn't want to meet his eyes. "She uh....she came in with you but...she left."

"She left?!" he repeated, throwing the covers off and standing quickly.

"Mister Potter! Return to your bed at once!" the healer demanded

But Harry wasn't paying her any attention. "Where did she go? Did she say anything?"

"Don't know. I wasn't allowed to follow her." Ron said, looking mutinous. "And she didn't say a thing after she came in, which was strange."

Harry's mind was racing. Why would she have left? What had happened? He had to find her.

He reached up and tore the bandage from his head, not even wincing when it stuck on his healing wound. "Sorry, Madame Pomfrey, gotta go." he said, and without looking back shot out of the hospital wing as fast as he could, the cape of his Quidditch robe whipping behind him.

`Where could she have gone' he thought. Where would she have gone, was the better question.

As he ran down the corridors he was inexplicably pulled to the main doors and soon found himself outside. The lake! They would go there often when things needed to be talked about or just mulled over.

He saw a few other students as he made his way down the grassy hill but no one tried to speak to him. Soon he was on a rise overlooking the lake. He looked hard at the tree he considered theirs and at first was disappointed, he didn't see her. He was about to turn around and check other places when there was a flash of color, mostly hidden by the large trunk. A few steps closer and he had a better view. It was Hermione and her gold and red striped scarf.

He hurried the last few yards and stood next to her but she didn't so much as twitch. Her gaze was held on the lake and if her eyes hadn't been opened he would have though her asleep.

"Hermione" he said softly "Hermione, are you all right?"

"Fine, Harry." she replied, surprising him as she still hadn't looked his direction "Out of the hospital wing already?" she asked, her voice completely devoid of emotion.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." he said confused, not understanding why she was acting like this. "Hermione, what's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong." she said, clambering to her feet and making to walk around him

"Hey." he said sharply and reached out to grab her arm, "Something is definitely wrong."

She jerked her arm away and finally looked at him, pain and anger lashing out. "I told you. I'm fine. Now please, let me go."

He wrapped his hand around her wrist, something was very very wrong.

She twisted and pulled and tried to get away but his grip was solid. For a fleeting moment he almost let her go, not wanting her to feel trapped, but he needed to know.

She glares at him with such fury his breath catches. "Tell me what's wrong. Did I do something?"

"You're not going to let me go until I tell you, are you?" she said venomously, her anger radiating off of her.

"Hermione, please. Tell me. I just...I just want to help you." he was lost.

"Fine." she bit off "You want to know? Then I'll tell you. You left me! Both of you left me!" she was trembling now "I stood in that hospital room and saw you two in beds, injured and I was alone. Since I became your friend I have never been alone, but in that moment I was. I can't do that again! I can't put myself out there like that, it's too hard!" she was openly sobbing now.

He had dropped her wrist in shock, never could he have imagined this.

"You mean everything to me. Everything! What am I supposed to do if you're gone?" she screamed. "Look at this! I have your blood on my hands!" she said, holding stained hands in front of his eyes.

He stood staring at her, numb, not processing what she was saying. How could she say those things? The more he thought, the angrier he got. He grabbed her hands and forced them down but refused to let go. "I've had your blood on me as well, Hermione and I didn't exactly enjoy it." he threw back "So, you're just going to abandon me? I guess I'm used to it, everyone else in my life has at some point, even Ron." he said bitterly, seeing her flinch. "But you never have. Never! You are the only constant in my life. I can't do this without you!" he roared, barely able to keep his emotions in check.

She seemed nonplussed by his outburst and her eyes still flashed dangerously "The prophecy says otherwise! And yes, maybe for once in my life since I met you I'm thinking of ME! Who else does? Who else cares? I'm just Hermione Granger-bookworm extraordinaire. Pull me out when you need some research done or a question answered but if not then put me back on the shelf to ignore!"

He saw red. He dropped her hands and grabbed her upper arms roughly "I care!" he yelled, seething "I care what happens to you! And I see you! You are kind and compassionate and frighteningly brilliant. You're logical and brave and the best friend I could have ever asked for. I don't deserve you, yet for some reason you stay. You've always stayed." his voice had softened and he wouldn't have looked away from her eyes for anything.

Her breath was still ragged but some of the tension seemed to have gone out of her. "I can't lose you, Harry. It would be my undoing." she turned her head away but he wasn't going to let her try and evade him. He brought his hand up to her chin and brought it back. "I didn't mean to say so much."

"I'm glad you did. I'm so sorry you feel like I take you for granted. I'm rubbish at expressing my feelings."

"I think you just did a pretty good job." she said, her face flushing slightly

The hand moved from her chin to her jaw line, cupping her face. "You have to know how much you mean to me. I...I can't do this without you. I can't. And I'm not just talking about the prophecy." her eyes met his and he saw a flare of something. Some distant part of him knew they were rapidly approaching the place that they had both been avoiding the past few months but he was helpless to stop it. He lowered his head so that their foreheads touched. "Please, Hermione, don't leave me." he begged in a whisper and he felt her shudder.

For the first time since they had started he realized how close they were. Magic was cracking between them, or maybe it was electricity, he wasn't sure. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing but everything in him was screaming to do something.

"I could never leave you." she said softly "I don't think I'm truly capable of..."

He cut her off by pressing his mouth to hers, desperate for her to understand how he felt for her in a way that words couldn't describe.

He felt her tense in shock and then with a sigh, relax into him.

Opening his eyes he saw her staring back at him. His mouth tingled and he wasn't sure he could feel his feet. A million thoughts raced through his head at once and he could see that she was doing the same. `What had he done?' Would this change everything?'

The longer they went without speaking the more worried he became, until she smiled and rose up on tiptoe and kissed him back. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. He could taste her tears and it was nothing like when he had kissed Cho. He couldn't breath, he couldn't think. All he knew was if this was the last kiss he ever had he could die happy.

She sank back down, her hands resting lightly on his arms and he had the odd thought that he didn't even remember her putting them there.

She gave him a shy smile and then her face crumpled and she threw herself around his neck. "Oh Harry! Forgive me! I didn't mean it. I was just scared and..."

Harry held her tight and ran a hand over her hair. "Shhh. It's okay. And you did mean it." she pulled back to look at him and he brushed the tears from her cheek. "It's okay. You were right. And you were right to feel scared. I can't promise you I won't ever get hurt again but I can tell you that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe and not leave you alone."

She gave him a damp smile and then swallowed hard. "Harry. What have we done?"

He dropped his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, there was no backing out of this now. "We did what I've wanted to do for months and have been too much of a bloody coward to follow through on."

She gave out a little meep "Months?"

"When you were attacked, everything changed for me. I wanted to keep you safe and do anything I could to make sure nothing like that happened again. And I didn't want to do it because of our friendship." he sighed deeply and tilted his head back, wondering if he was completely mucking this up. "Something clicked for me then and I realized I cared for you more than I thought I had. I wanted us to be more but I didn't want to risk losing what we had."

The longer he talked the brighter her smile got and he thought that maybe, just maybe this would work out.

"I felt the same way. I kept wanting to talk to you but...I didn't know how you felt and if you just saw me as the same old Hermione...I couldn't lose you as my friend and I was willing to just have you as my friend if the alternative was losing you." she said hurriedly

"You never considered there was another alternative? That I felt the same?" he asked with a small laugh.

"Not really." she admitted. "You had never really seen me as anything other than your friend."

"Well, thats not entirely true. I definitely noticed you at the Yule Ball. And according to Neville some part of me knew after you got hit at the Department of Mysteries."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, obviously confused. "What are you talking about."

"Neville said that when you went down I...he said I fell apart, that I wasn't even able to check to see if you still had a pulse." he choked on this last part and she brought a hand up to stroke his cheek. "I don't remember a lot from then, but I do remember thinking that if you died it would be my fault and that when Neville told me you were alive...I've never felt relief like that before." he leaned into the palm of her hand, enjoying the touch.

"I think I've always had feelings for you, ever since I was old enough to understand what they were, but I became very good at tramping them down and focusing only on our friendship. And I've been okay with that." she said sincerely "I don't want you to think I've gone around miserable with unrequited love for years. I was comfortable. Content."

"And how are you now?" he asked with a wicked grin.

"Depends on if we're really doing this or not." she said seriously

"I'm in." he answered, heart paused while he waited for her answer.

"Then in that case I am ecstatic!" she said with a wide smile and his heart resumed beating again.

"Thats very good to hear." he said softly and leaned in to kiss her again. Her hand slipped into his hair and he had never felt anything so wonderful.

This kiss went on longer than the others and when he pulled back they were both a little out of breath.

"So." she said "How are we going to do this?"

He looked at her confused for a moment, not understanding what she meant. "I mean telling people."

He hadn't thought about that yet. But in that moment he knew the answer and as much as he didn't like it he didn't see another way. "Don't take this wrong...but I think we should keep it quiet. We'll tell Ron, of course. But other than him I think it would be safer if no one else knew."

She nodded "I agree. I can't imagine what Malfoy or Voldemort would do if they knew."

"You're already a target." he said "I don't even want to think of what they would do if they knew..." he trailed off, unable to complete the thought.

"I understand. And it won't be that hard, we're already together all the time as it is." she said "And you have been rather liberal with the touching as of late, so that won't raise any red flags."

He flushed at her words, and that she had obviously noticed. "I'm just sorry it has to be this way. I don't want you to feel like I don't want people to know, it's not what you deserve." he said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"If it keeps us alive then I'll take what I can get." she said with complete sincerity. "As long as you promise me some clandestine snogging sessions."

He laughed at her sly grin "I think that can be arranged, Miss Granger." and leaned down to nuzzle her neck.

She squealed as he hit a particularly sensitive area and he filed that knowledge away for later use.

Hermione lifted his head up and stared into his eyes. "Thank you." she said and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him hard.

He pulled her tight. "What are you thanking me for?"

"For being my best friend."

He just held her, wondering at everything that had happened in such a short amount of time. His head was reeling, but in a good way.

He stepped back and took her hands in his, noticing the staining from his blood. "Here, let me." he said and pulled out his wand and motioning towards her hands for her to hold them out. "Scourgify" he said softly and they watched as her hands were clean again.

"I wish it was all that easy." she said sadly and he gave her another quick hug.

"How about we head back? It's getting dark and I think I need to face the wrath of Madame Pomfrey."

"What did you do?" she asked in a very Hermione tone.

"I...uh...may have left without her permission."

"Harry!" she said in indignation "Come on. We're going right back there so she can make sure you're okay."

He took her hand as she began to pull him back towards the castle. "Yes Hermione." he said resignedly, happy to follow her wherever she wanted him to go.

The hospital wing was quiet when they slipped back in. Harry even had the audacity to get back into his bed as if nothing had happened. Hermione chastised him, but she was grinning.

She took up a chair between his bed and Ron's and sat, holding his hand as he lay on his side, waiting for Madame Pomfrey to come in and notice him.

Ron's snores filled the air but he didn't hear them. Hermione was fairly humming with joy and it was all he could do to not kiss her again right then. He was amazed he had gone all this time without kissing her.

Soon enough the healer arrived, and to her credit only did a slight back take as she saw her patient had returned. She didn't say a word, just ran her wand over him and with a disgruntled tone told him he was fine and could leave.

Ron woke up and it took him a moment to realize what was going on. "Harry! Hermione!" he exclaimed "What happened to you two?"

They both began to talk at once and he shared a smile with her before sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Thats quite the story, mate." he said, a wide smile splitting his face.

"Well someone had better start talking. Everyone else gets to run out of here and go Merlin knows where and I'm the one getting shoved back into bed and miss it all." he said grumpily

"Sorry `bout that." Harry said, chagrined. "Well, let's see, Hermione got awful tetchy with me, read me the riot act, kissed me and then agreed to be my secret girlfriend. Does that about cover it, luv?"

Hermione flushed and smacked him on the arm "Harry! A little discretion would be nice."

Ron was staring at them mouth agape, clearly not expecting the news he had just been given.

"Wha..who...huh...you...and you...and...."He stuttered, unable to comprehend what he had just been told. "Did you just say that you're...girlfriend?"

Harry grinned, enjoying his friends discomfort. "You're okay with this, right?"

Ron just nodded numbly "I mean, I kinda saw this coming...but still, it's a bit of a shock."

Hermione reached out and laid a hand on his arm "We have to ask you a huge favor though. We're going to keep this quiet. If Malfoy or Voldemort knew..."

Ron's eye's grew hard "Yeah, I get it. No worries. Won't be that hard, Harry can't seem to keep his hands off of you anyways."

Now it was Harry's turn to look like a gasping fish while Hermione giggled at his embarrassment.

"Thanks, mate." he said dryly.

He noticed Hermione stifling a yawn. "How about we head back?" he said to her "You'll be out tomorrow, right?" he asked Ron

"Thats what I've been told." he replied, although he didn't sound as if he believed it.

They exchanged goodnights and then headed back for the common room, hands clasped.

When they reached Gryffindor tower they lingered, neither of them wanting to part. The slowly made their way to the stairs. On the landing she turned to him, his hands resting lightly on her hips. She raised a hand and ran her fingers through his hair, looking for his wound, when she found a slight trace she raised up and pressed a soft kiss to the area.

His eyes fell shut and for the first time in his life he wondered how he got so lucky.

Her lips moved to his and then before he could blink she slipped up the stairs to the girls dorm.

As he walked the opposite direction, he knew that as worried as he was about this, as new and scary as this change was it could only make him stronger, could only help him in his fight and now he was more determined than ever to see this to the end.

Author's Note 2:

Surprise! This development was totally not planned to be this early. I had intended to wait until the end of Year 6 for them to get together. But then I started writing this chapter and....BAM! It just wrote itself in here. I'm pleased with it. I think we've had enough build up and I really liked the idea of the fight turning into their admission. I also think them being together but it being a secret is going to add a fun element to the rest of the story. Hope you like it!