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Fear Cloaked In Courage by sticknsnitches
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Fear Cloaked In Courage

sticknsnitches

Author's Note:

You're all awesome!! Thanks again for sticking with me and leaving such fantastic reviews.

This chapter takes place during HBP chapters 17,18, and 19 `A Sluggish Memory' `Birthday Surprises' and `Elf Tales'.

I had a bit of an issue to deal with in this chapter as the book skips ahead about two months in canon. That wasn't something I wanted to, nor could do. I can't be showing these day to day changes in H and Hr's relationship and then jump months and leave them where they were. That wasn't going to work. So I've decided that my story is going to have to follow canon events but not a month by month timeline. It's just simply not possible. I may be able to skip a week or two but not months. So hopefully you'll give me some leeway if I make reference to something that in canon happened in April and I'm saying it happened in February.

This chapter is told from Harry's POV. I've realized I've been trading off between Harry and Hermione chapter by chapter. This is not intentional, it's just worked that way so don't be surprise if in the future there are two Hermione chapters in a row or you get both POVs in one, etc.

Oh, and there are quite a few little moments in this one. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I'm just borrowing them.

He hadn't realized how much being away from her had affected him until he saw her again. Dumbledore had delayed him after they had taken the floo from the Weasley's and he had to wait even longer. Walking into the common room he hadn't seen her at first but when he did he felt something slide into place. And then she was in his arms and nothing else mattered. His world narrowed down to just the two of them and it was like the week apart had never happened.

As they sat on the couch in the common room later that evening she had curled up next to him and he couldn't deny that having her there with him like that was nice- very, very nice. Hermione had always been demonstrative with her affection. In fact he was quite sure she was the first person to hug him since his parents had died. But because physical affection was something that he had gone without for so long it wasn't typically something he sought.

The night she was attacked however, had changed that as well. He didn't even realize at first how much they had been touching; anything that helped her, that made her feel better was all that mattered. It didn't feel awkward, he did it without thinking...and he hadn't stopped.

However, what that meant for them...he didn't know. What he had felt for Cho last year didn't seem to be the same. Cho was beautiful but he didn't really know her. He knew Hermione. He also knew they should probably talk about what was going on, but that scared him, what if he was wrong and she didn't feel the same? What would that do to their friendship? He couldn't risk losing her.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep on the couch with her in his arms but he hadn't been getting very good sleep while at the Burrow and he was very comfortable in front of the fire with her slight weight on his chest. Before he knew it his eyes were slipping shut.

He didn't know what had caused him to wake up but he was grateful for it. A clock said it was well past three in the morning. He looked down and saw that she was still sleeping peacefully. He hated to wake her but he knew they had to go back to their rooms.

He reached a hand up intending to shake her shoulder but, as if by its own volition, his hand went to her cheek instead. He traced a finger along her jaw line, amazed at how smooth it was. There was a voice in his head telling him he shouldn't be doing this, but he wasn't listening. As he ran the back of his knuckles over her cheek again she moved her head slightly and wrinkled her nose, before letting out a soft sigh "That's nice." he heard her say quietly and his heart flipped.

He did shake her this time, "Hermione....you have to wake up." he said gently

She blinked slowly and rubbed her eyes before fully focusing on him. "Hey." she said

"We fell asleep." he said, unnecessarily "It's after three."

"Oh!" she exclaimed and started to sit up, pulling her hair into a temporary pony tail and giving him a shy smile "Guess I was more tired than I thought. Sorry."

"It's ok. I didn't mind." he replied, his voice far more huskier than he intended it to be.

Her eyes went wide and they stared at each other for a long while before she leaned in towards him. Before his brain could process the action she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight, Harry." she said and then she was gone, leaving him sitting alone and confused.

He walked to his dorm without really seeing and fell to the bed still fully dressed. He thought sleep would allude him the rest of the night but it didn't and he was asleep almost immediately.

He woke up later than he intended to the next morning and rushed to get dressed and grab his bag before bolting down the stairs. Ron's bed was empty and he hoped that if Hermione wasn't in the common room she had at least let Ron walk her to breakfast.

They were both part of the crowd around the notice board and he walked up behind them. "What's this about?" he asked, seeing Hermione jump a bit

"It's the sign up sheet for Apparition lessons." she said, taking the quill from the person in front of her and adding her name. "It'll be nice to be able to apparate. Could come in handy."

Harry signed his name as well and they headed for the door. "Well, maybe it'll feel different when you're doing it yourself. I didn't quite like the side-along with Dumbledore."

"That's right." said Ron "I'd forgotten you'd already apparated."

Breakfast went well. Parvarti and Lavender stayed far away, mostly due to the chilly looks Ginny kept sending them. The talk among the sixth years was about the apparition lessons and the talk continued as they headed to Charms.

Dumbledore had sent him a note at breakfast to meet him after his first class. He watched as Ron and Hermione headed towards her Ancient Runes class, feeling slightly guilty that he wasn't joining them.

Harry was glad that Dumbledore didn't bring up anything they had discussed in their last meeting. He still wasn't pleased with the fact that Malfoy was being allowed to stay at the school and that he had no other reason to believe Snape wasn't going to kill them all other than Dumbledore's word.

The headmaster began to tell him of Riddle's early days at Hogwarts and he couldn't help but draw parallels between his own life and that of the dark wizard. There were two memories Dumbledore wanted to show him, both he said had been difficult to obtain and Harry felt obligated to watch.

Dumbledore retrieved the pensieve from the cabinet and the bottle with the memory. When Harry approached the bowl he hesitated for a moment. The last time he used a pensieve he was viewing the horrible memory of Hermione's attack.

The first memory was of Riddle visiting Morfin at the Marvolo home. The second was the most important, according to Dumbledore. It was a memory of Slughorn's, but one that had been tampered with. The headmaster informed him that it was his responsibility to get Professor Slughorn to tell him the true memory and discover why Voldemort was interested in horcruxes, whatever they were.

He was able to catch up to Ron and Hermione at lunch. He exchanged a look with Ron over Hermione's head, silently asking if there had been any problems, he nodded that everything was fine. Lunch was quick and they exited before there could be another meeting with a Slytherin.

Later that evening they once again occupied the space in front of the fire. Hermione was checking over their homework as she had promised and Ron and Harry had moved the chess board over to the table there while she worked.

When enough of the other students had gone to bed and Hermione had run out of ink correcting Ron's essays he began to tell them about the memories.

Hermione looked just as perplexed as he did about the word `horcrux', he was hoping it was some obscure term only she remembered reading somewhere but she was as lost as he was.

Ron was certain that Slughorn would give Harry the information he needed "He loves you. He'd tell you anything." but Harry wasn't so sure.

The only reason Slughorn liked Harry was because of who he was and his sudden proficiency in Potions thanks to the book.

The book had been a bone of contention between he and Hermione since the beginning of the year. He wondered if he should just buy a new one or continue using the one belonging to the Half-Blood Prince. "Er, Hermione." he began nervously "You can...you can take a look at my potions book if you'd like."

She couldn't hide her look of surprise "Um, well, sure, I'd like to."

`So things were still weird about the book', he thought. He ran to his room quickly and grabbed it, might as well let her have it now and get it over with.

She gave him a small smile when he dropped it in her hands and then her attention was wholly on the book. She worked on it steadily for half a hour while he and Ron resumed their game.

Dropping the book on the table with a resounding `thwack' she gave up. She glared at the book and let out an exasperated sigh. "I can't find anything wrong with it." she said "There are no charms, no curses and it doesn't seem to be possessed." she paused and worried her lip.

`That was rather endearing', Harry thought and then caught himself. Where had that come from?

"While the...additions are rather bold and borderline dangerous...well....I can't deny that they aren't effective. Nothing that has been written is necessarily wrong....it's just not the proper way." she seemed perturbed to even have to admit this. He knew how important it was to her to do things the way they were supposed to be done.

"I won't use it anymore if you don't want me to." Harry said sincerely, ignoring the astonished look Ron gave him.

Hermione flushed and bowed her head. "No. I wouldn't ask you to do that." she said and looked him in the eye. "You keep doing what you're doing. And I'll do things my way. Besides, if you stopped now Slughorn would become suspicious and may not like you as much and you need him to get that memory."

"Thanks, `Mione." he said and gave her hand a squeeze of gratitude. It meant a lot to him that she gave him her blessing- so to speak.

"I think I'm going to head to bed, you boys enjoy your game." she said, "Oh, and I'll get started on researching the horcruxes tomorrow."

They both bade her goodnight, following not too long afterwards.

Potions was their first class the next morning and he was nervous to see if Hermione's new attitude towards him using the book would hold out in an actual class.

Slughorn's assignment seemed practically impossible. Develop an antidote for a potion they didn't know anything about. Out the corner of his eye he swore he saw Hermione give a little smirk. She knew there wasn't anything in the book that could help him with this.

The class period flew by and with only a few minutes left and zero progress on his antidote he was about to give up. Flipping through the pages one more time he saw a page with a long list of antidotes and written across them were the words `Just shove a bezoar down their throats'

`A bezoar?' The word was familiar, he remembered Snape talking about it in their very first potions lesson. Harry scrambled for the wall of ingredients and searched until he found the small grayish looking stone.

Hermione was giving him looks, she could clearly see that he had nothing in front of him. But when Slughorn stopped in front of him he merely opened his hand and showed the stone. The potions master was over the moon with his ingenuity. Hermione just rolled her eyes.

After class she and Ron headed back while he tried to speak to the professor. However, as soon as the topic of horcruxes was broached, Slughorn shut down and all but kicked Harry out of the room.

The next two weeks went by quickly. They fell into a fairly normal pattern. Harry and Ron walked with Hermione to every class except for her Arithmancy class. It was on the other side of the castle and they had a class at the same time as well. Harry had tried to figure a way so that she wouldn't be alone but nothing would work. As it was he would rush her direction and meet her halfway back most days. It was the best he could do. Ron's grades were getting better thanks to Hermione's help and they spent most evenings in front of the fire. Unfortunately she wasn't getting anywhere with the horcruxes. Nothing was to be found on them in the library and she was getting frustrated.

One night she was up late, pouring over yet another huge tome. Ron had already gone to bed and Harry was on his way when he stopped, he couldn't leave her there doing his work for him.

"Need any help?" he asked

She shook her head distractedly, not looking up from the book. "Hey. Why don't you stop for the night?" he said, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

"What?" she said, finally looking up.

He reached over and took the book from her lap, ignoring her protests. "You're done. Get a good nights sleep for once."

She looked like she was going to fight, but decided not to. "That sounds like a good idea."

They both stood at the same time and she lost her balance. His hands shot out to catch her. One hand grabbed her waist, his thumb covering her hip bone, while the other was splayed across her lower back. He didn't let go. She had clutched his upper arms as well and they were flush against each other.

He'd been avoiding touching her. It had been more difficult than he had thought and there were several times he caught himself in mid-reach. But there were still plenty of times when he found himself doing it anyways. This was the closest they had been in over a week.

He looked down and saw something dangerous in her eyes. There was a flush on her neck and if the thudding in his ears was any indication, her heartbeat had to be going as fast as his.

Involuntarily, the thumb on her hip made a small motion and she gasped, her nails digging into his arms. Something passed through her and he felt it too.

She licked her lips and he groaned internally "Harry." she breathed, and he was certain that no one had ever said his name like that before. "We have to....we have to talk. But I can't...not right now."

It was like being doused with ice water. His arms fell away and she took a step back, a look of disappointment on her face. "Ok." he mumbled, his brain still foggy with what had just transpired between them.

"Goodnight, Harry." she said quietly and raised up on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek.

Things were definitely off the next couple of days between them. Even Ron noticed. Harry was doubly sure now to keep his hands to himself and that just meant that he was even more aware of how frequently he touched her.

Their first apparition lesson was soon upon them and that Saturday morning almost all of the sixth years were gathered in the Great Hall. The Ministry instructor introduced himself and was trying to explain what they were going to do when Malfoy got busted for talking by Professor McGonagall. When they were told to spread out he slid his eyes over to Ron and Hermione and surreptitiously glanced at Malfoy and his goons before making his way over to stand behind them.

Clearly Malfoy was up to something and Crabbe and Goyle were too stupid to understand his instructions. However, he wasn't able to hear everything they were whispering about.

The lesson went as well as could be expected. No one apparated but he seemed to have a better understanding of what it involved.

He filled Ron and Hermione in on what he had overheard, which hadn't been much other than Malfoy wanted Crabbe and Goyle to act as lookouts.

They were still not getting anywhere with the horcruxes and Slughorn hadn't completely warmed back up to Harry.

Ron was disappointed to learn that their first Hogsmeade weekend had been cancelled, it would have fallen on his birthday.

Harry had taken to following Malfoy on the Marauder's Map as much as possible but that proved difficult. On the morning of Ron's birthday he was digging through his trunk, looking for the map. He tossed several things out, landing haphazardly between his bed and Ron's.

Ron had sat on the floor to open his presents while Harry searched for Malfoy.

Distracted, he didn't notice when Ron grabbed a box of chocolates that had been thrown from Harry's trunk. He had eaten several of them before Harry was done with the map.

"Ready for breakfast, Ron?" but his friend didn't reply, he was starting out the window with a strange look on his face.

"Ron? Breakfast?" he repeated, not knowing anything to keep Ron Weasley from food.

His behavior continued to be strange. He was talking nonsense and then rambled about a `her'. To Harry's knowledge there hadn't been a `her' in Ron's life since Lavender.

And then to make matters more confusing Ron claimed he was in love with Romilda Vane. Harry wasn't even sure who the girl was but vaguely remembered Hermione warning him that she had been trying to sneak him a love potion. It only took a couple of seconds for everything to fall into place.

The chocolates had been in his trunk since before the Christmas break, they had shown up on his bed one day and he had just put them in his trunk and forgot about them.

"I love her." Ron said in a dreamy voice.

"Of course you do." Harry replied, knowing he needed to get Ron an antidote as soon as possible.

"Do you know her? Isn't she the most beautiful girl in all the world?"

"Absolutely. Why don't we go pay Professor Slughorn a visit." he suggested, hoping that Ron wouldn't put up a fight.

"Will Romilda be there?" he said with such longing Harry had a hard time not laughing.

"I think she will be, Ron. Don't worry."

Luckily it was early yet and he got them to the dorm and through the corridors without too many people seeing them. Halfway to Slughorn's office he remembered that they had accidentally left Hermione but there was nothing he could do until he got Ron sorted out.

Professor Slughorn was less than pleased to see the two of them at his door and it took everything Harry had to convince him to let them in and make the antidote. Soon enough though Ron was red-faced in shame and horror at what he had said.

Ron had collapsed into a nearby arm chair and the professor suggested a bit of a drink to bring his spirits up. He chose a bottle of mead he said he had intended to give to Dumbledore as a gift but had never quite managed to send. Slughorn poured three glasses and gave a toast to Ron's birthday. Ron didn't wait and threw the drink back in one gulp.

Harry nor Slughorn had taken a sip yet when Harry knew something was terribly wrong. The glass Ron had been holding fell to the ground and then Ron followed it. His eyes were open but they were glazed over, white foam was starting to come out of his mouth and he was shaking so hard his arms were flailing about.

"Ron!" Harry yelled and ran to Ron's side.

"Professor! Do something!" he cried, but Slughorn seemed to be at a complete loss.

Ron twitched some more and his skin was turning blue. Realizing that Slughorn was going to be of no help to them Harry leapt over a small side table and skidded to a stop in front of Slughorn's potion kit. He tore through the compartments, pushing aside bottles and jars and trying to block the sounds of Ron's breath rattling. Finally he found what he was looking for. A bezoar.

Grabbing the small stone he flew back to Ron, pried his mouth open and shoved the bezoar into his mouth. Ron gave a great shudder and then he was still. For a long moment Harry thought he might be dead. Then he noticed that the color was returning to his face and his breathing had evened out.

Harry sat back on his heels, heart pounding. Slughorn finally came to his senses and called for Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall.

On their way to the hospital wing Harry saw Neville in the hallway and asked him to run to Gryffindor Tower and find Ginny and Hermione and tell them what had happened.

Ron was resting in a bed already when the girls burst through the door. Ginny ran to her brother's side, sliding into the waiting chair. Hermione was pale and when she reached Harry she threw herself at him, sobbing.

He completely forgot about his self-imposed rule against touching. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in tight. Her hands clutched the back of his sweater and he could hear her saying something but couldn't understand a word.

She lifted her head, looking utterly miserable "Is he going to be alright? What happened? Neville just said he had been poisoned and that it looked bad." and then she dissolved into tears once more.

"Shhhh." he said, pulling her back to him and running a hand along the back of her hair. "It was poison in a glass of mead. But I was able to get a bezoar down his throat in time." his voice shaking slightly

"Oh Harry!" she exclaimed and looked up at him, she laid a hand on his cheek and it took everything in him not to shut his eyes and lean into her. "You saved him! Was the poison that bad?"

He reached up and took her hand in his and brought it down between them "I thought he wasn't going to make it." he admitted, avoiding her eyes.

She didn't say anything, just pulled him towards her and let him feel the fear he hadn't allowed himself to feel yet. He clutched her tight and buried his face in her neck, letting her comfort him. One of her hands came around the nape of his neck and began to slowly stroke the hair there. He felt a shudder go through him and knew she felt it too but she didn't stop.

They were interrupted by Madame Pomfrey declaring she needed room to work and they all had to get out. Reluctantly they obeyed and spent the better part of the day sitting outside the main doors to the hospital wing.

Ginny paced the corridor while Harry and Hermione shared a ledge in an alcove. He kept his arm wrapped around her shoulders, needing her as much as she needed him.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley arrived around lunch but swept right past them. Finally, later that evening they were allowed back in and took up a vigil around his bed. Harry stood behind Hermione where she sat in a chair looking sadly at Ron's sleeping form. "Madame Pomfrey said he'll have to stay a week and take daily doses of essence of rue..." He laid a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

The twins arrived a little bit later and as they brought them up to speed on what had happened they all ended up speculating on how the mead had come to be poisoned.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came back in and he immediately found himself being hugged tightly by Mrs. Weasley. She and Mr. Weasley thanked him profusely for saving Ron's life. Madame Pomfrey announced that there were too many visitors and Harry and Hermione got up to leave, letting Ron's family sit with him.

They walked back to the common room, forlorn and lost in thought. Hermione's hand was tightly clasped in his and he had no intention of letting it go.

Due to the late hour the common room was empty when they got in. Without speaking they both headed to the couch and sat together, much like they had done before. He kept an arm around her and trailed a hand up and down her arm. Recalling the last time they had sat like this he felt compelled to talk to her about what had been happening between them.

Somehow though she knew what he was about to do and lifted herself off his chest. Just as he opened his mouth her hand came forward and two fingers laid across his lips. Electricity surged between them. "Not right now." she said in a low voice "Soon. But not right now."

He nodded, hoping that soon would indeed be soon. Her hand lingered for a second longer and then she sunk back down to where she had been.

He awoke hours later to Ginny shaking them. She told them Ron was doing the same and then headed to bed, with only a slight smirk at how she had found them. Hermione kissed his cheek and followed her up.

The next few days were mostly filled either in class or in the hospital wing. Ron was awake, although he still slept a lot. Hermione kept on him to stay up to date on his class work which he half heartedly made an attempt at when he was told how worried she had been about him.

One afternoon Harry stopped by while Hermione was still in class and was surprised to find Luna perched on the end of the bed while Ron slept. She didn't say anything to Harry for the longest time and then suddenly hopped down and started to leave, saying "Things are much better, but you cannot become complacent." over her shoulder as she did.

Mid-week, Harry realized they had a Quidditch game that Saturday and he was down a Keeper. Quidditch was the furthest thing from his mind at the time but he knew he couldn't back out.

He discussed the situation with Ginny and Ron that night in the hospital wing while Hermione looked over their essays. With Ron out and McLaggen gone from the school they had few options. Eventually they decided that Ginny had the most experience playing different positions and she would be moved to Keeper while Dean Thomas would be brought back as a Chaser. Harry wasn't thrilled with the plan but there wasn't enough time to hold trials and practice before the game.

The day of the game dawned cool and bright and Harry was actually looking forward to being able to play. Hermione walked down to the pitch with him and he watched as she climbed into the stands to sit with the other Gryffindors. Luna Lovegood of all people was the day's commentator and he had to admit that while a strange choice, she was certainly entertaining. The match started off well enough. Ginny wasn't as good as a Keeper as Ron, but she wasn't bad. Dean had played Chaser before, but Coote and Peakes seemed to be off and Harry found himself spending more time yelling at them instead of searching for the snitch.

Hufflepuff was only up by thirty, which, all things considered wasn't so bad. Harry had flown up high to get a better look at the entire pitch when he saw that his Beaters weren't paying attention to the game, instead they were in an argument with each other. Sighing in exasperation, he leaned forward on his Firebolt and streaked towards them. Harry was almost upon them when the Bludger came out of nowhere and Peakes took a blind swing at it, not bothering to see where it was going.

There was blinding pain, a flash of light and screams before he had the distinct sensation of falling a long, long way.