Title: Looking Out For Him
Summary: "She can never be replaced, not even by Ginny. That person...is you."
Word Count: 1,433
Rating: PG-13
Warning: A lot of angst and general weirdness. And..this fic is really weird and goes all over the place; I like it, though.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine; he never was, never will be. He belongs to J.K. Rowling and other related companies. I don't intend any copyright infringement whatsoever; the only thing I own is this fic and its plot. Nothing more, nothing less.
Notes: Hi all! First off..I'm so sorry for not updating in a long while. Now that my junior year's ending (or has ended), I was caught up in exams and such, which took up so much time that I couldn't find free time to update or even be online. And I know I said that The Beast and the Unlikely Beauty would be updated soon, but..alas. I can't right now, since I have writer's block on that story. So I decided to upload something; hopefully it sates you for a bit until my writer's block goes away.
And now for some rambling ahead..
This takes place post HBP, and does contain spoilers. Harry and Hermione are together in this; they became a couple during the second year of the war. And also - before they became a couple, Harry dated Ginny for a while, and then he broke it off. And the scene in italics did not happen; I just included it to show how Ginny doesn't understand Harry. At all. Alright, enough of my babbling.
Dedication: This is dedicated to Kalie and Jennifer. You both are the most amazing LLS a girl could ever have. Also, this goes out to my readers/reviewers; you all are wonderful.
- - -
"Are you telling me," said Hermione, "that you're going to go back - ?"
"And get the book? Yeah, I am," said Harry forcefully. "Listen, without the Prince I'd never have won the Felix Felicis. I'd never have known how to save Ron from poisoning, I'd never have - "
" - got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don't deserve," said Hermione nastily.
"Give it a rest, Hermione!" said Ginny, and Harry was so amazed, so grateful, he looked up. "By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!"
"Well, of course I'm glad Harry wasn't cursed!" said Hermione, clearly stung. "But you can't call that Sectumsempra spell good, Ginny, look where it's landed him! And I'd have thought, seeing what this has done to your chances in the match - "
"Oh, don't start acting as though you understand Quidditch," snapped Ginny, "you'll only embarrass yourself."
- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, page 530, U.S. edition
Silence filled the air.
"Well," said Hermione quietly after a few moments, "don't you start acting as though you understand Harry, you'll only end up embarrassing yourself."
Ginny was dumbstruck by this; her mouth opened and closed like a fish, no sound coming out of it. No one had ever answered back to her.
"And besides," Hermione went on, her voice steady, "I'd have thought that winning the House Cup for Gryffindor was important to you - and now that Harry's been banned from the final match of the season, our chances of winning are nonexistent."
Ginny's eyes narrowed. She didn't say anything, however; it seemed like, Harry thought, she was waiting for the right moment to say what she needed to say.
Hermione regarded her friend - former friend, it seemed now - with a cool look. "Besides, Ginny," she said softly, "you're not the only one who's looking out for him, you know."
***
Three years have since quickly faded away. Too many things have changed since then; they've all grown up too early, saved the world too late. The world's a peaceful place now, but the safe tranquility came at a high cost. The wizarding world and Voldemort's followers both had paid countless lives in exchange for peace and equality.
Since then, it's been a long hard road recovering and rebuilding, starting from scratch and trying to save anything that can be saved. Homes, hearts, emotions, memories. The war brought the wizarding world together, and then it tore them apart. All things have come to an end, all things have a new beginning.
Everyone had been forced to become adults too soon. Especially the three of them, she muses. They were too young to be heroes; but they had too much (too much) to lose.
Maybe this was the way their lives were meant to be. Maybe these were the lives they had to lead. She doesn't know for certain; she's never been one to believe in superstitions or Divination.
The war changed them all. It made them numb and dead to all feeling and seeing; to all the true beauty around them. The possibility of death had hung over the three of them like a dark shadow. They had doubts they would live, or that they would ever even find the remaining Horcruxes and destroy them. They found out that they couldn't trust or depend on anyone except themselves and each other. They saw what desperation, anger and sadness did to people: murder, suicide - evil drove people to do these revolting actions.
She herself has seen horrors too gruesome and nauseating to describe; she's seen brave men fall, innocent wizards and witches being tortured . . She's seen too many things that no ordinary teenager should witness.
Her musings are interrupted by a certain black-haired, bright-eyed wizard. He's known to many as the savior of the wizarding world - but to her, he's just Harry. Her awkward best friend who means more to her than life itself.
"Hey," he says softly, not wanting to wake up the entire Weasley clan.
She gives him a small smile. He sits next to her on the window seat. There's a deafening silence between them, one that feels so...strange. Uncomfortable. What they're not used to at all. It makes him aware of how much the war affected her - of how they both have changed.
"Knut for your thoughts?" he asks finally, then laughs nervously.
A chuckle escapes her. "How much do you want to pay, really? I have more than a knut's worth of thoughts."
His eyes burn into hers. "Whatever you want me to pay. If you'd let me in."
She swallows, but doesn't look away. His gaze is too searching, his eyes are too knowing. They're haunted and hollow; they've seen too much of the world. Her eyes tell the same story.
"I've been thinking..." She drifts off, not sure where to begin or where to end. "About this past year. About the war. How we've all changed...you, me, Ron. Ginny. When I started wondering what my place in your life was." She hesitates, and this is when he grabs the opportunity to speak. And actually talk with her. Something he's been missing for a long while.
He shifts a little closer to her, hoping that she doesn't notice, but she does. He looks at the ground, gathering his scattered thoughts. "Last year," he says finally, "it was...surreal, to say the least. It was sixth year all over again; like I was living someone else's life. It was normal, but it's just not the life I was meant to have." He smiles sardonically. "The normal, quiet life I've always wanted - I can't have that. Then . . ."
He sighs heavily. "Then there was Ginny. She . . I thought she was, you know, `The One,' but the problem was that...she didn't know who I really was. She always saw me as the hero. The boy who could do no wrong. And she hasn't been loyal to me, she hasn't trusted me in the past...so how could I believe her, let alone trust her? I realized that we could never be together. We just don't fit." He realizes that he's rambling, and closes his mouth, embarrassed of his confession.
She doesn't say anything still; only listens. That's more than enough for him.
He exhales; not even realizing he's been holding his breath in for that long. A quiet, contemplative look adorns her face, he notices. Finally, she speaks.
"It did seem like we were living another person's life," She begins slowly. "...I know something changed last year, and that's what's bothering me so much. We've repaired it, little by little, but everything's not the same. Yet..our friendship's stronger than it was before. And yet I still wonder.." She looks at him. "Wasn't Ginny everything you ever wanted?"
He shakes his head. "No," he says firmly. "I thought she was, you know..it seemed like she was the girl of my dreams, but...it turns out that she was just a mere reflection of it. It was as if...she was too perfect. She just neatly fit into my life for one time...and then I grew up, and she didn't belong in it any longer. We didn't even talk, Hermione. She was just someone I could snog and escape from reality with, even for a brief moment. Everyone said that she was my ideal girl. She might've been that, but she wasn't the right girl."
His fingers find hers and wrap around them. "There already was someone else. Someone who has always been there for me...who trusts me, who believes me, who never doubts me, who looks out for me..who understands me. Who knows I'm not perfect and that I cant be brave or confident all the time. She's the only person I can completely confide in. She's my conscience. She knows me inside and out - all my flaws, hopes and fears. And she accepts me for who I am. She can never be replaced, not even by Ginny. That person...is you."
She squeezes his hand in reply. Everything seems so much clearer now in the darkness to the both of them.
They give each other small smiles, reveling in this moment, here and now. They're starting to heal.
They're alive again.
*
The next morning, the entire Weasley family finds the both of them sleeping on a nearby sofa, heads close together. Their orange-headed best friend seizes the opportunity and takes a picture with a special magic camera. He safely tucks it into his pocket, to be used to tease them with later.
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